my night can just be summed up as “honestly sorry there were two boys making out on your bed do you like want a shot or something” to my roommate

enemaroberts:

precumming:

McDonald’s is disgusting

you disgusting homosexuals out here eating ass sucking dick and you have the nerve to call mc donald’s disgusting? not on my watch

(via heternosexual)

When you’re in first place in Mario Kart and shit starts going down behind you:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

image

(via lanadelwhore)

returquoise:

When you try to think of a word and can only remember it in another language.

(via heternosexual)

reallylameblog:

This is my favorite tweet

drunktrophywife:

*moaning* what’s ur credit card number

(via toinfinityandbeyonce)


pussy game too strong